Now I'm on the new jersey transit train to Dover to visit aileen and hang out with her while she teaches her workshops.
New York has been very good to me , mixtures of youthfulness and feeling old to. Went to my grandma funeral which was actually a beautiful experience. I didn't cry a lot it was really a joyous time. I felt like the family really celbrated her life.
It was amazing that most of the family came out and shared some real time together. I saw my uncle donald and my cousin Tyler, the lost but now found cuz calais and a whole bunch family. It is a crazy thing to watch the family become older. Watching family members die, get sick have kids. I feel really nostalgic when I saw my family this time. How young and strong someone was opposed to their older physically weaker self.
Today I talked with my dad about death. I think when his mom died he became really concerned about what would happen when he died, made me sad but at the same time woke me up to many realities I will face.
My dad during the funeral was asked to give a little speech and he said something really profound. He said that he hoped that some family members would grow up. At first I thought he was talking about my cousin elliot, who when my dad said this shook his head and smiled, but when I think about it more, he was talking about the younger generation of the family. That we need to step up and help keep this family together. Which I never thought of before that the older members of the family have tried real hard to keep the family together and now it's our turn. They worked hard to make christmas and thanksgiving and all the other occasions.
Now it seems its the grandchildrens turn to start being the glue that holds the family together, so that the next generation remembers to do the same.
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